Bles has been ready for her close-up since she was five. And now three countries, three children, two marriages, and several decades later, she's gotten her chance to shine.
Bles's Story
Acclimate, December 2008
When she was just five years old, Bles's mother entered her in a drama competition, where she won first prize. Bles was hooked. From then on she jumped at any opportunity to express herself creatively. She sang, she danced, she wrote poetry. She loved all things artistic and seemed to thrive in every effort. Throughout her schooling, she remembers always being on stage.
"I love being on stage! It makes me get in touch with who I really am. It's a different energy," Bles says with a sparkle in her eyes and an excitement in her voice.
But while Bles felt the excitement of performance and enjoyed the emotional outlet of expressing herself through the arts, there were other duties in store for her. Born the oldest of seven children in a traditional Catholic Filipino family, Bles was nothing if not obedient. There wasn't much work in the province where she grew up, and with brothers and sisters to support, the arts didn't present a very stable-looking future. Her family, friends and community all believed she had talent, but that didn't matter because "arts are for rich people only," they said. "You'll be hungry if you decide to pursue this," they warned. And so, obedient Bles followed her father's mandate to study nursing, give up the frivolous dreams of performing, and head to America to find work.
"I never wanted to be a nurse. I never wanted to go to America. But I couldn't say no to my father. I was obedient. Culturally, I knew I wasn't supposed to question anything. Of course, I did question things in my head, but I felt guilty and knew that I had to send money home," Bles recalls.
And so, at just 21 years old, Bles moved to Miami, Florida, to work as a nurse. Nursing shortages in the U.S. brought opportunities to nursing students from all over the world, but especially from the Philippines, and Bles was among several other Filipinos who started work at the same time. She had four months to prepare to take the required nursing exam, and when she passed that (one of only four in her class to do so), her contract was extended. She stayed in Miami for one year, faithfully sending money back home each month and saving as much of the rest of her paycheck as she could.
After a year, Bles was drawn back to the Philippines. She missed her family, and especially her high-school sweetheart, Andy, whom she married as soon as she returned. They were "starry-eyed and in love," and quickly had two children within two years. In spite of this, Bles wasn't happy.
In fact, it wasn't just unhappiness. Bles was probably suffering from post-partum depression, but at that time, the symptoms weren't as well-known or accepted as they are today. She spent a lot of time going from doctor to doctor, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Finally, she met a doctor who asked Bles about her life, not just about her body, and helped her realize that she was unfulfilled in her provincial life, and recommended that she move back to Miami.
Bles hoped the hospital would hire her again, and so with no international calling or faxing capabilities, and long before email, she hand wrote an application letter to her former supervisor and sent it off in the mail. Two months later, her visa was ready and the hospital was eager for her return. With a heavy heart and with her daughter only six months old, Bles left her family and homeland behind again to return to Miami in hopes of finding her happiness and fulfillment.
Bles knew she'd made the right decision, but it was terribly difficult to be so far from her husband and children. Phone calls were difficult and expensive, and they only managed them every few weeks. But her husband wrote letters to her every day and they longed for the time when they could be together again as a family.
As luck would have it, that time wasn't too far off. On her first assignment in Miami, an older and wiser friend had forced her to fill out a green card application. Bles didn't see the point, but she went along with it, filling out forms with no more thought than filling out a crossword puzzle. But that friend's advice paid off. Just two months into her second assignment in Miami, her number came up and she was offered the chance to interview for the card that would not only allow her to stay in Miami indefinitely, but would allow her husband and children to join her.
A few months later, the family was together again, making a new life and welcoming an additional child. After some time her husband found work in the accounting department of the same hospital that employed Bles. The family joined a church and their children attended a Catholic school. They lived the American dream for 15 happy years.
But when she was just 37, Bles lost her beloved Andy to cancer. In his last year, Bles took care of him and their children, while she maintained her full-time nursing schedule. She remembers how difficult it was, and wonders now, "Where did I get the strength? I cannot imagine how I did it."
When Andy passed away, Bles went through the motions of living her life. She went to work, she paid the bills, she raised her kids, she did whatever anyone told her to do, because she was emotionally numb and went through days like a robot.
After one and a half years though, she started waking up. She started thinking about herself and her own needs. Bles had always devoted her life to family, work and church, and now it was time for her to think about what she wanted for herself. She reached out to community groups and realized that she loved socializing. She loved people, and she even started dating. She traded in her mini-van for a sports car and started appreciating her single life. And that's when she remembered how much she loved singing. She started taking singing lessons and performing in local events.
"When I decided to get married and have children, I put that part of my life on hold. But, now I was like some kind of 'Merry Widow,'" she laughs. She had always dreamed of training as a classical singer, and she auditioned for a degree program at a music school, which not only accepted her, but offered her a scholarship as well.
"I was the oldest auditioner, but I tried anyway!" she remembers. And once she was enrolled, she gained even more confidence. "Just being there was beautiful. I felt young, being around young people. I felt lucky even driving to school and parking my car!"
Just as her singing career was officially beginning, she fell in love again. She and Steve began dating, and they always knew that his work would require an overseas relocation in the coming years. And yet, when the time came, Bles wasn't sure she was ready to leave all that she'd established in Miami.
After a proposal and lengthy discussions with Steve, with her children and with her mother, Bles decided to leave the music program to accompany Steve to Bangkok. He warned her that life would be different, and that she was unlikely to be able to find stimulating work or performance opportunities like she enjoyed in Miami. Unconvinced, and ready for an adventure, she decided to make the move to Bangkok in 2005.
Once here, she realized how right he'd been. She applied for countless jobs, only to be turned down time after time. She felt like she'd given up so much and had set her expectations too high. Two years passed without any work or meaningful opportunities, and Bles was miserable.
Then, just as things were turning darker than she could have expected, she met a woman who helps promote artists here in Bangkok. Bles attended one of her events and was amazed and eager for an opportunity to work with her.
That chance came on November 4, 2008, when, after months of hard work and preparation, Bles finally realized her dream of performing a solo performance. She performed her show, called "Inspiration," at the Thai Cultural Center. Her most meaningful performance of her life to date, Bles chose her own songs and designed the program with producer Amie Cal and director Anette Pollner, both of whom are fellow expat women living in Bangkok. For Bles, "Success meant connecting with the audience and having them travel along this journey with me."
Bles's next adventure is just beginning. With her successful solo performance under her belt, she'll head back to Miami in early 2009 to begin the next phase of her life where she'll undoubtedly keep inspiring women to reach for their own dreams.